MALU!!

I have been having on-off diarrhoea for a couple of years now and tried so many medications from modern to traditional preparation to try curing it but to no avail. So, a couple of weeks ago, I took up a courage and mentioned it to a doctor friend of mine who is now doing Gastro rotation. A good friend he is, he quickly mentioned it to one of the Gastro Specialists whom I know pretty well, and voila! a colonoscopy (where a probe is put through your colon to see the inside of your digestive system for diagnostic purposes) was arranged for me. All the arrangements were done so fast that I didn't have the time to think about it. I was too busy at the time to give it much thought anyway.

It was the night before the procedure that the reality finally hit me... Here I was in the bathroom purging for the umpteen times after taking Phospho Soda to clean up my bowel in preparation for the procedure and suddenly, the thought of 2 male doctors whom I know so well looking up my ass sent me into a mini panic attack. Why the hell did I agree to it? I did requested for a female doctor at the very beginning but the request fell onto deaf ears and I didn't even kick a fuss..Stupid me! Oh, did I tell you that I actually had a crush on one of them about a couple of years ago? Yes, I did but it lasted only for a very short time and I don't think he ever knew. Thank god!

Anyway, came the procedure day, the friend did all the necessaries himself and made it as professional as possible which helped lowering my level of embarrassment and anxiousness abit. I was also glad that he was kind enough at the last minute to get a female specialist to do the procedure and sent the rest of his male colleagues out of the room. But the embarrassment didn't stop there.. apparently they had to give me higher than normal sedatives to put me to sleep (I am a tough cookie afterall!) because I made an awful lot of funny sounds while they were trying to get the probe in(or so I was told!). After the procedure, the doctor friend came over to check on me and explained about the findings but I was told that although I was already awake and looked 'normal' I repeatedly asked him the same questions again and again and didn't make any sense at all. The worst thing is, even up until today, I still could not remember doing it nor could I remember even talking to him. In fact, I could not even remember that I actually went to change my clothes all by myself, went to get drugs and appointment dates or how I managed to get back to my office in one piece. So, 2 hours of my life missing yesterday, which I have no recollection of although I was fully awake (or so I was told)... Pretty scary eh.. I sincerely hope that I did not do and say stupid things or revealed any secrets to anybody I was in contact with within that 2 missing hours..What a disaster if I did!

Oh, to add to my horror and embarrassment, I also discovered that I called this doctor friend about 5 times and another friend about 8 times during that 2-hour amnesia period, for reasons I myself didn't even know...I really hope they didn't think that I was playing pranks on them or that I was plain stupid. I am truly sorry to both of you...I HONESTLY DO NOT REMEMBER!

Lesson of the day: If you need to do any procedures or surgeries involving sedation, do it at a hospital as far away from your house and workplace as possible so that if you have to make fool of yourself... nobody knows you!

I now need to find a box to cover my face until this embarrassment blush goes away..

A silent prayer

God,
give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.

Reinhold Neibuhr

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In my years of training, I had never given up on people. I never tolerated sloppiness and just pushed to bring the best out of each person. But for the first time today, I gave up.

I have failed. I am sorry. He was sorry too. But I think, it was the best option for us both; for the sake of our sanity.

I am tired. This has got to stop.

It's one HOT day

I got tagged again.. Actually, I still have a number of the old ones still not done but I don't remember what they are anymore. Since it's a new year, let's start anew shall we. Anyway, when I first saw this tag on Giggsy's blog, I thought it looked familiar and found out that it is pretty similar to this one here. But what the heck.. I'll be a sport and do it again just for the fun of it!

Fact numero 1:
How do I wind down after a hard days' work? I'd play freecell on my phone. Yup, freecell helps me to relax after a long day and 3-4 games of it(ok, more like 6-8 games since it's always difficult to stop once started)on those cluttered-brain nights will surely give me a good night sleep. My dependence on freecell started about a decade ago when I was at University. I turned to it whenever I'm stuck with assignments or when my head needs clearing and the trend continues until now. My current game statistics on the phone: No. of games won-310; No. of games lost-32. Not bad eh? The number of games played on the laptop have definitely reached thousands and the winning rate is pretty high too but am just too lazy to check.

Fact numero 2:
I love frogs.. Not toads mind you, just frogs. Not that I like to touch them but I do find some of them cute and I have many stuff which are 'frog-based' like keychains, coster, posters, soft toys and even my PC avatar. I used to get many frog-based gifts from college and work friends too but here's a stern warning, no, please do not give me any real frogs ok. And I am not going to eat frog legs either!

Fact numero 3:
I believe in the power of dreams..not all dreams but only those that have certain impacts on my life and they normally come repeatedly. I am not a fortune-teller nor a psychic (please don't start coming to me for lottery numbers!) but in recent years, I've beginning to learn differentiating dreams that should be taken seriously from those meaningless nightmares. However, I am still clueless in interpreting them since some can be straight forward (deja vu-like)whereas some others can be the opposite when occur in reality. For example, a few weeks before my ex-husband emailed and confessed his adultery acts, I had repetitive vivid dreams that he was doing just that. Although he dismissed it as rubbish when I told him, I believed something was wrong eventhough I didn't have a single clue about it (how would I know when we were in 2 different continents right). On the other hand, I dreamt meeting a friend whom I've not met for so long one night but in the actual fact, he passed away on that particular night itself. Conflicting huh..

Fact numero 4:
I love playing basketball but I don't really enjoy watching it on tv. On the other hand, I love watching football but I've never tried playing it (yet). It's funny because I can get truly absorbed watching footie on telly that I once had an argument with one ex about it. We were supposed to spend some quality time over dinner but Liverpool was playing on a big screen nearby and he got pissed off with me for giving the lads on the pitch more attention than him. My defence statement: It was Liverpool ok!

Fact numero 5:
I do not eat ayam kurma. Daging kurma is ok but ayam kurma is a big no-no. This is down to a single but very bad incident of diarrhoea and vomiting after eating it years ago in Sheffield with me ended up having to be brought to the hospital in an ambulance. Yeah, it was that bad! And it was on the first day of my pre-registration training year at the Trust too so it was pretty embarrassing!

Fact numero 6, 7 et 8:
Emmmm....can't think of anymore random facts about me so I'll stop just here.. I'm not that weird afterall eh :)

Since I have tagged other people the first time round (and some STILL haven't done them!), I won't do it again. But of course, you're more than welcomed to do so if you want (Eija: this message is especially for you..hehe..)
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I promised to be a total slob for a full 4-day from Friday right? I failed after a mere 36 hours. My fingers went numb after a few hours on the net (damn you Facebook!) and I had a sore bum after a day in front of the tv. So, I went swimming last night and turned up for basketball this morning. Good that I turned up or otherwise I would surely get a full bashing from the rest of the gang... only 11 people came today and we played under a very hot sun, I felt like my skin was on fire! Arrived home, I actually voluntarily bathed 8 of my cats so that I can be drenched in water for much longer than a shower to cool myself from the heat...panasnya!

10 guys on the court and still need a girl to organise the game...dang!

When the cat's away, the rat's out for a field day

Most of the time, I am pretty orderly and in control, be it with my physical belongings, daily routines or the state of my mind. But things have changed for the worst in the recent days with a sudden rise in workload at the office (what's new?) and bouts of flu, diarrhoea and sore throat came one after another. A confusion on the love front and an argument with a dear friend added to the clutters in this small brain of mine too.


This photo of my messy work station yesterday summed up the state of my mind just perfectly!

So, I am now hugely relieved that the long-awaited chinese new year break is finally here... I am determined to be a total slob these 4 days to wind down and nobody can stop me. I will stay in bed for as long as I like and spend the rest of the hours in front of the TV or PC. I will only consume junk food, nothing less, and will only take my shower or change clothes only when they've become absolute necessary. This is my lunar-year resolutions and nobody can stop me from achieving it!

Ok...I did spent 2 hours in the morning today answering urgent calls from the hospital.. can we put that off-the-record?
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I received this song many years ago from a guy whose heart I broke ( I was young and stupid back then ok) and it still remain as one of my favourites. He gave me the lyrics of this song (dulu mana ada MP3!) when we last met to bid our goodbyes. I sometimes wonder what had happened to him since and whether we can still recognise each other if we one day bump into each other on the streets...


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Received an sms from Ardy yesterday telling that the third book of the Farsala Trilogy is finally out in paperback... and he has bought it for me too. Yahoo!

Wherever you will go

On Saturday night:


Furious . Raged . Disappointed

Today:


Empty . Melancholic . Broken? (yet to be determined)
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This is one song that never fail to cause a hint of sadness whenever I listen to it. It's a nice song though...

Indo-chine Travel Log (Part I)

I've finally managed to sort out photos from the not-so-recent trip to Cambodia and Vietnam although am still waiting for some more from the rest of the '4R' gang. The trip was a blast but I am too lazy to describe it in great details so here's a short log of it and let the photos do the rest of the talking..

Day 1-3: Siem Reap

Since we have booked our accommodation through the net before we arrived, we had a free airport pick-up and were taken straight to Bou Savy Guesthouse where we stayed for 2 nights. At USD5 per person, it was such a good bargain since the rooms were spacious and clean with own bathrooms, satellite TV and inclusive of breakfast. The downside was, we were stuck with the same driver who picked us up from the airport (his name was Bovan) throughout the stay, who was the slowest driver I've ever met...he didn't even went past 40km/hr, not even once!

Anyway, after checking-in, we went to visit Tonle Sap, which is the largest freshwater lake in South East Asia, a journey which took as about 1/2 hour by car from where we were staying (it would take much shorter time if we had a 'normal' driver!)















Tonle Sap from the sky

The first half of the lake especially where we boarded the boat was very dirty but it got cleaner as we moved away.















Business as usual

From Tonle sap, we hit the city centre for a late lunch and some shoppings.















Where the shopping madness started. Who said guys hate shopping? They can shop till they drop!

Supposed to go to Angkor Wat for sunset after that but it was raining so we went to Angkor Wat Miniature instead and that was a bad move... You should give it a miss!















The miniature

The next morning, we started the day early and headed to Angkor Wat with our moody driver, Bovan. We started with Bayon where we 'befriended' a local police guide who was more than happy to show us around. He also 'took charge' of my camera and for about 1/2 hour or so, I became the 'victim' of his clever photography tricks.















Bayon















Lingam in Bayon




















One of the photo tricks.. Oh, I was so impressed! (not)

From Bayon, we moved on to Preah Khan. The temple was built for King Jayavarman VII in the late 12th century on the site of Jayavarman VII's victory over the invading Chams in 1181. As you can see from the next photo, the temple is hardly restored and has been taken over by nature, which nevertheless, adds to the beauty of the ruined temple.




















Yours truly at Preah Khan

From Preah Khan, we wanted to go straight to Ta Prohm first but our moody driver complained of hunger instead and dropped us at Angkor Wat so that he could get lunch nearby. Grrrr...















Yours truly in front of Angkor Wat (please excuse the pose!)

Personally to me, Angkor Wat was a huge disappointment. It was just a huge temple complex but nothing much in it, unlike Bayon, Preah Khan or even Ta Prohm. So, after a couple of hours in the complex (and after getting soaked by sudden bouts of rain), off we went to Ta Prohm.




















Ta Prohm

As the final stop, we climbed up Bakheng Hill to view the sunset but sadly, the weather was not on our side that evening. So, tired and hungry, we left the city of Angkor, went back to the city and had TWO rounds of dinner at the same cham restaurant that we went on the first day. The owner couldn't contained his smile looking at the amount of food that we consumed that night! Before bidding goodbye to Siem Reap, we had another walk-a-round in the city and even checked out its lovely (but slightly expensive) night market.















The night market

Next stop: Phnom Penh.
More photos of Siem Reap and the city of Angkor can be found here.

Promise ain't enough

Yup, actions definitely speak louder than words, would you agree?

Age is just a number

And that's my mantra for today :)

I turned 32 today. I don't feel any different, no grey hairs, no extra wrinkles...so, no big deal. Except that I've been coughing for the past 3 days and it doesn't look like it's going to disappear that soon. Thank god the temperature is back to normal or I have to shop for more 'Air Cap Badak'. Yup, I am a pharmacist but I have to resort to the unproven 'Air Cap Badak' whenever I am down with fever since I'm allergic to all those modern drugs which are normally used to reduce body temperature (also known as anti-pyretics). This is the exact reason why I became a pharmacist anyway. At least I have found an alternative drug for pain-relief (since those common pain-relievers are also in the same groups as anti-pyretics hence a big no-no for me) through my 'experimental' studying years, but not one for temperature yet.. maybe one day when I own a pharmaceutical company, I will invent one. As if.

Anyway, back to today... A big thank you straight from the bottom of my heart to all friends and loved ones for all the birthday messages, calls, cards, songs, pressies and even a blog post... I am truly touched by all your kind words and thoughts. You guys really make my day!




The birthday cake (and I received it 3 days before the real day!)






The birthday toast
















The second birthday cake (well..sort of!)







The special pressie :)
(What can I say...I am a hopeless romantic afterall!)



I am looking forward to the family dinner outing tonight as well as the 'sisters' get-together next week... more food and (probably) more pressies! Birthdays are just lovely, aren't they? I am blessed and thankful...

Counting sheep

This post was actually done on Monday.. But I was too busy caroling Ba Ba Black Sheep in between trying to get Mix FM to support my cause that I forgot to post it altogether ;)

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I am in such a foul mood today. I just cannot tolerate stupid people...I will not even bother to try. They always piss me off and boy, they did it big time this afternoon. Why are they at the positions they hold now when they have brains as small as peanuts is beyond my comprehension. Sheesh!

So, I am now going to take up Mix FM's challenge to 'count the sheep' and calm myself out of this foul mood before I snap at people..definitely not to those who don't deserve my tantrums. It will be totally unfair on them right? So, let me start counting the sheep now...

One, two, three, four, five......... twenty-one, twenty-two....

Mix FM

Yup, that's my favourite radio station and I always listen to their breakfast show on my way to work. As its name suggests, it is a radio station with a mix of everything and it suits a person with mixed (or messed up) personality like me well. What I love most is the Phua Chu Kang (from MediaCorp, Singapore) segment.. Although they kept playing the same recorded slots again and again nowdays, I still laugh out loud whenever I listened to one since Phua Chu Kang is so funny and original. He even make sense at times and some of his funny quotes bring good message too. A recent one that I can still remember is 'Those who don't flush, do not blush!' Make sense eh? And I wonder what would he say about those who on top of not flushing, even take photos of their own excretions and uploaded them onto their blogs for public viewing. Emmmm....What say you PCK?

Back to Mix FM. Of all the days, Mix FM managed to piss me off this morning. Ada ka they played on air friday's news this morning?? Worst, it was the exact word by word till the end! Hello!! It is called news for a good reason...if we want to hear old stories, we would have called it 'olds' instead of 'news' right? The producer must have dozed off in the studio since Friday for not realising the obvious error. Sheesh!

Oh...and Liverpool managed to piss me off today too... ada ka only managed a draw with Luton last night.. Luton? Luton?????? Sheesh!

Ok... take a deep breath and continue counting ryzah...

Emm..On the second thought, maybe I should sing Ba Ba Black Sheep over and over again instead. It is more exciting than counting and I am bad at maths anyway..

A note to Mix FM: You want to modify your anger management campaign now? I can be your campaign manager..

Ba ba black sheep
Have you any wool...
Yes sir, yes sir
Three bags full...
(take a deep breath and repeat..)

Goodbye Girl

One of my all-time favourites.



I love Martin Nievera's version more but unfortunately, the embed was disabled. You can still view it here though.

A blessing in disguise

A renewed faith.

Over the years, I slowly began to believe that there are always good reasons behind everything that happened, be it better things to come or even simply lesson to be learned.

For example, I didn't get to go to Luthania in 2006 (purely my own doings, for sticking to my stupid 'principles'!) but because of that, I had the chance to go to Bordeaux the following year and off I went. It was a good trip and a surprise meet with a long-known friend at the edge of Eiffel Towel led to another level of relationship. A blessing in disguise. Must be the air in Paris eh?

2007 was a relative good year for me. If 2005 and 2006 were the years of healing, 2007 was the year of discovering...and adventures. A few holidays, a number of new friends, a new (added) job, a new promotion and most importantly, a new relationship. Yes, there were road-blocks here and there but we now have an action plan and we will see through it. we will get to know the outcome sooner or later. If it doesn't favour us, no worries.. I am sure, it is just another blessing in disguise for us both. Life must go on right?

I was supposed to go to Kuantan today to send this fella back to his basecamp but my car pulled out on me yesterday. Ended up having to pay RM1.2k for the repair which include 3 new tyres, a whole new set of brakes and a few other things that I don't even want to remember. No worries, a blessing in disguise. At least,I managed to postpone the Kuantan trip to this coming weekend, totally avoided the end-of-holiday traffic madness and we got to go to Zoo Negara instead. The lil' fella definitely had fun although he looked overwhelmed at times especially when both of us got totally drenched up during the elephant show when one of the elephants sprayed a bucketful of water towards us with his trunk. My mum and my sister were saved only by my mum's quick thinking...she opened up her umbrella just a few seconds before the incident!

Oh well, how many of you can stand up and be proud that you've been 'showered' by an elephant right? A blessing in disguise.

Happy new year everyone!

The culprit is the one at the top I think..