When will this end?

The first two weeks of ramadhan were quiet for me. I either had iftar at home or at my parents. But the last few days, I break my fast at many different places with many different groups of friends. Good company, good food and had good laughs too. But why do I still feel so empty and sad, and especially dreading the drive back home each night? Why at this very moment do I have tears running down my cheeks? Will these loneliness and sadness ever going to leave me alone?

I was asked today to go to Kajang next week to let them know that I agree with the arrangement. Why do they have to put me through this when I only agreed just because there were no other options given to me? I was also told that it will only take about two weeks (or maybe a bit longer since raya is approaching) before the case is heard in the court and soon, all will be over.

I just wonder now... once it is formalised, will I feel differently compared to today? Will I be happier and fulfilled? Or the emptiness is here to stay?