Fakey sicky

I found this on the net while I was searching for something else of a more intellectual in nature (seriously!)... This is amusing to me but perhaps the tips may come handy in the near future for some. So, here's the extract:

How to Call in Sick When You Just Need a Day Off

Everyone needs the occasional unscheduled day of leisure. Here is how to get yours without raising suspicions at work.

Calling Method

1. Complain about fake symptoms. A day before your day-off, make hints about your flu by casually reporting about your untrue flu-like symptoms throughout the whole day to your colleagues. For example, say that your bones hurt and you feel a little sore on that day. This way, your coworkers can make the connection to your symptoms from the day before.

2. Call your boss early the next morning. Do not delay because it will cause displeasure to your boss. And also you will want to avoid you boss from labeling you as a bad employee by not informing him or her early. Moreover, if you call early, you will have a rather rough voice after waking up. This will give you some added credibility.

3. Make the call a short one. Just say that you are not coming in as you are calling in sick that day. Excellent choices are severe headache or stomach ailment, as they are common. Don't get too detailed. For instance, don't say that you were sick at 12:34 last night or your computer was yet to be cleaned of the vomit.

4. Be prepared for a Q&A session. Is your boss nosy? Anxious about the sickness (if you work in food service, for example)? Try to imagine what kinds of questions your boss might have. Food poisoning? Contagious? Have you called a doctor? Have you taken anything? Try to have answers for these questions prepared ahead of time; otherwise you'll be fumbling and might lose your story.

5. Get off the phone as quickly as possible; stories are told by liars. The longer you are on the phone, the better chance you have to mess something up.

You can read more here.
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Oh... I would like to add a few more tips, especially dedicated to my staff ;)

1. If you want to take a 'planned' sicky, don't tell your colleagues about it days in advance. Not even to your most trusted friends. Just keep the cunning plan to yourself. Chances are, these colleagues of yours will be the first to blab it all out to your boss first thing in the morning on the day you're on the sick leave.

2. When you want to go on a holiday, make sure you check that your boss is not going to the same holiday destination. If necessary, change your destination or the date just to avoid the clash especially if you don't intend to take formal annual leaves for it. Telling your boss that you're ill when he/she just bumped into you on a paradise island the day before will make your sicky story a lil' bit shaky. You don't want to be called a liar, do you?

3. If you want to get a medical certificate for your 'planned' sicky, make sure you get it from a doctor who is a thousand of miles away from your place of work. To go to a doctor who happen to be a friend of your boss may put you in a compromising situation later. Seriously.

Ok folks... that's all for now. Semoga berjaya! ;)