Touch 'n' go

Some people may find this post slightly offensive so if you’re the all well and proper type, stop reading NOW.

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People who can read papers or magazines while doing the ‘big’ business always fascinate me. I’m all for multi-tasking particularly in these busy modern days but I just cannot imagine how they can comprehend what they’re reading while at the same time concentrating on getting the day’s junks out of the body system. I remember talking about it with a friend some time ago (yeah, my friends and I can talk about anything under the sun including this!) and his argument was that the reading is useful to stimulate your brain especially early in the morning, which in turn will ‘stimulate’ the digestion system to do the business more smoothly.. is that true??

As for me, my ‘big business’ routine was always a quick process.. more like a ‘touch n go’ than waiting in the cash lane. At times, it could be even a smartag affair that I needed to zoom into the toilet at the speed of light and once in, it was all over within minutes. However, it suddenly changed for a week during the fasting month.. Out of the blue, my touch ‘n’ go mechanism stopped working and I had to spend almost half an hour in the toilet each time I need to remove my stomach content. I didn’t know the real reason behind the change, but possibly due to the fact that I didn’t eat much fibres during that busy week or probably because I stopped my physical activities all together that my bowel and intestines became weak.

Anyway, it was a weird experience and thank god it didn’t last long.. During those lonely minutes that week, I simply didn’t know what to do! Tried singing to sway my concentration, attempted to prepare mental to-do list and even tried to shave my legs (yes, I did try!) to keep myself busy while waiting for it to get over and done with but failed miserably. I just could not multitask and do even the simplest things during those crucial moments, what’s more to undertake reading!

Now, you can possibly understand why I truly envy those who can flip through cookbooks or financial times and still absorb and comprehend the materials while channelling sufficient energy and commitment to get their bowel emptied. I do wonder though… has it ever occurred that people actually mistaken the magazine or newspaper in hand as wipes at the end of it? :)