2020 reflection.. a couple of months late!

 

So I hit 45 last month. No big differences physically say compared to 5-10 years ago except for the extra weight, grey hair and probably aching back and knees at times. But looking back, my life in the last 20-25 years was nothing but colourful. Lots of ups and downs but pretty exciting and adventurous too. Anyway, just in case the older me comes back to this post for a walk on memory lane a decade or two from now, just to remind you, we are currently in a global pandemic! Who would have thought, huh.

Anyway, that number at the top was the number of COVID-19 cases on the day I hit 45. It was the highest number of cases since the pandemic started way back in September (or was it December?) 2019 but of course, the numbers increased further a few days later. Just putting it here as a record.

A lot of people said that because of the pandemic and that everybody stayed at home for almost 3/4 of the year, 2020 came and went in a blink of an eye. But looking back, 2020 wasn't too bad for me. For a start, I got to publish 3 papers and one of it as the first author, which may not be achieved if it weren't for the working from home policy. Work was crazy though especially at the beginning of MCO 1.0 in March 2020 because apart from switching to online classes almost immediately, we had to switch from physical clinical attachment to virtual clinical cases and ward rounds too. Hours and hours were spent to prepare the virtual cases and the simulation structures so that it could mimic and achieve the same learning outcomes as the real clinical clerkships. And that was for both the undergrad and postgrad programmes! So that was crazy. 

But being in-charged of student affairs at the time, I too had new challenges to face. One, we had a number of students exposed to COVID-19 cases particularly from earlier hospital exposures and the most stigmatised cluster at the time, the Bangi wedding cluster. I almost went to the wedding anyway, if not for a bout of diarrhoea. It was in the early days where SOPs for exposed students/PUIs were abit blurry, so that was quite a stressful period. We even had a pregnant postgrad student being picked-up as a PUI by a racing ambulance - what an experience for her! Thank god she and the kids (twins by the way) were and are well.  Then with the prolonged lockdown, came flare ups of mental disorders among high-risk students. We even had cases of suicide attempts.  Even though by then I already had a couple of years of experience handling these students, with limited movement and every non-essential services closed, it was a tricky period too. I am glad all these students are getting the treatment they need and back with their parents now. Came July & August, we had a lot of changes at work and I am now in charged of academic affairs instead. Structuring, planning and conducting teaching and learning activities as a first-timer DDAA and during a global pandemic was and still is not a walk in the park. A lot of sleepless nights but InshaAllah, I am getting the hang of it now. 

On the home front, although my working hours were crazy during the MCOs, we got to spend more time together especially for daily solat jemaah which is really great. We were supposed to go to UK and Europe in 2020 as my graduation gift (hey did I tell that I finally got my PhD in 2019?) and to attend my sister's wedding but that's a bust now. Hopefully we will be able to do that in 2022. If 2022, it will be exactly 20 years since I left the UK so that will surely be great. But for now, I am longing for a day (or 10!) on a beach. Missing the islands!

Ramadhan Kareem 1441

I came down at 3 am, made myself a cuppa, all determined to listen to 16 recorded presentations that I have to assess but 10 minutes later, here I am on blogger instead. Silent nights have always brought me back to this blog but I guess I haven't had many of those in the last few years, judging from the very few posts I had.

I have nothing particular in mind to write about so I guess this will be just another random ramblings to myself since this blog hardly get any visitors in the last few years. Just the way I like it actually. Facebook and Instagram have been too loud, while although my Twitter has less than 100 followers, but I already have some students and ex-students following me there, thus I still have to be careful of the things that I wrote. Nothing too personal.

I have been feeling unsettled lately. There is a pandemic going around but I am at home, just doing work and house chores. This is new territories for me. In the past, whenever there were big crises going on, I was always involved either directly as part of my work or with NGOs. Except this one. Yes, helped my stranded students getting food supplies and even tracking some of them who were PUIs and PUS before but that's about it. I have submitted my name to be a volunteer frontliner but my current teaching and learning loads have been chaining me to my desk and I am feeling, I don't know, suffocating?  Of course, it is so rewarding to see my former students now being in the thick of things as frontliners and I am so proud of them. But I wished I am there with them.

Oh, an old good friend got in touch with me just a few days ago and again yesterday. We have drifted apart for almost 10 years now. We used to hang out together almost everyday circa 2008 up to early 2010 and it drastically stopped after I got married. Now it is just limited to whatsapp messages on  special events such as birthdays or Eid. Itu pun kalau ingat. I miss him sometimes (we were good friends and neighbours and nothing more than that) but I guess we cannot have it both ways. I hope he will soon find his own happiness. He deserves it.

Now, as for EPL, can't they just give out the trophy to Liverpool already? Geez.

Ok, time to listen to a few presentations before I start reheating food for sahoor. Till next time, happy fasting!

Lepak

Although there are countless hipster cafes mushrooming around the city these days, Coffee Bean has always remain as my choice of place to lepak for brunch or coffee. Mostly because I have my favourite corner here in CB D'Pulze, very cozy and away from the crowd, where I can do people-watching without people noticing. Secondly because CB carries my favourites, a selection of salmon sandwiches and in December every year, the christmas log.

Sitting here alone now (big boss took the kids to play pool upstairs) gave me abit of time for personal reflection and something sudden crossed my mind. I hope and pray that I will have my memory fully intact till the day I die because be it good or bad, most of my best life experiences are those still strongly encrypted in my brain. No cameras can ever capture them as beautifully or as detailed as my brain could. All I have to do is juust select and play and they will all be replayed clearly in my mind. Wonderful.

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Love this song.

Layu

There are days when I'm all motivated and hyped up to play my roles in helping to make this world a better place, especially for the future. On these days, I would give my all.. demi bangsa, agama dan negara la kononnya.

But on days like today, I just feel like creeping into my invisible cave, dump everything aside and just shut my eyes close. Mengantuk tak hengat ok!

Think tank drive

It's Saturday afternoon and I'm home alone working. End of semester exam is coming soon so I have no other plans for this weekend except for preparing tonnes of questions for the final year papers. I have now come to a realisation that preparing questions is much harder than answering them during exam...erghh. However today, I have so far finished 3 MCQs, all within less than half an hour, thanks to my new multitasking method.

For as far as I can remember, I do most of my thinking while walking and especially while driving alone. It shouldn't therefore come to a surprise if I fail to notice any familiar faces in other vehicles while I'm behind the steering wheel, even if they happen to be on the lane just next to mine. Having to travel further to Cyberjaya on daily basis now just means I have more time for personal conversations with my brain cells. Most of the time, it would be just random thoughts about what I would want for lunch/ dinner, holiday/ diving plans which never truly materialised or mental notes for new blog posts (as you would have guessed, never get translated into real posts anyway). But now that it gets busier and busier at work, I have learn to use my thinking time to plan my day's schedule, constructing sentences for official emails, phone calls or letters, problem solvings and the latest, constructing exam questions. Surprisingly, this worked well so far and all these mental notes get churned out later onto papers/ laptop/ phone exactly as how they were during the thinking process. Such a time-saving method I tell ya!

Anyway, back to the random thoughts and lone conversations.. Here are some that came across my mind in the last few days.

While coming out of the office:

'Oh! sunset in Cyberjaya is as beautiful as those in Tioman, Redang, Mabul and Komodo, honestly. Wonder if anybody else would agree with me'

'Why are there no Nandos in Cyberjaya? I want Nandos!'

While on the long and boring Mexx highway:

'Can I lose 5kg in 7 days, in time for the pre-grad dinner so that I can fit into atleast one of my old dresses? It's not too much to ask aye?'

'Is Muhammad Azrif a nice name for a child? Oh wait, I have 4 other names in the mental list already and I'm not even pregnant yet'

'Alahai, why no more Burn Notice on Fox these days? I miss Michael's charm and Fiona is just sexy'

The random thoughts usually turn toxic by the time I reach Seri Petaling, especially on Friday evenings:

'Why must these huge and heavy lorries/tankers use MRR2 at this busy hour? Lagi tambah semak la!'

'These emergency lane abusers and queue jumpers should rot in hell!'

'Kereta je besar, otak kecik!'

'If only my Kembara can tranform into giant robots like the transformers. Akan ku pijak-pijak all these stupid drivers!'

'Oii, apa pekdah signal lights tu kalau tak guna?? Meh sini aku pecahkan aja!'


Emmmm.... Maybe I should get myself a personal driver or just move to remote places where there's no traffics, before I go crazy...

Random thoughts

This blog is almost at risk of dying so here's a quickie for its revival:

1. Last night's Piala Malaysia was pretty good and I enjoyed myself watching it considering I almost died of boredom the last time I saw it live at the stadium some years ago. Our local footie is improving after all!

2. But I was pretty annoyed at Kelantan supporters (well, I could only see them from TV1 live telecast) who kept throwing empty water bottles onto the field even when the game was on... depa ni tak kenal tong sampah ke tak sekolah??

3. I was quite pleased when I heard the announcement on making History a compulsory pass subject in SPM come 2013. I honestly think that we as a nation should take our history more seriously. We should learn from the past so that our future leaders won't make similar (usually) stupid mistakes twice. But it tickled me to the core when I read a comment by the NUTP president who seemed to oppose the idea, published in NST the day after. Quoting a sentence of what he said to NST: "Besides, what's the point in memorising all the dates?"

Alahai... if the president of the National Union of Teaching Profession himself is thick enough to think History subject is all about memorising important dates, I truly pity our current school-goers. Sungguh kasihan... When I was at secondary school I was lucky enough to get to enjoy learning history from teachers of high calibre, namely Cik Hafizah and (then) Cik Saedah. They taught us all about yang 'tersurat' dan 'tersirat' from those historical events included in the syllabus, ... not just important names and dates ya Mr President! *pheww*

4. It's going to be another busy week this week, with exam questions to prepare and vet, clinical attachments at Kajang Hospital and all sort of other commitments. But 4-working days instead of the usual 5 should at least help in maintaining my energy level and motivation, I hope.

5. Liverpool ada game ini malam. YNWA!

Sunday Slumber

It's Merdeka day tomorrow and I'm in a nostalgic mood.

I've been in this mood since yesterday, when I suddenly googled the lyrics of Gurindam Jiwa while still in bed and started to sing the song repeatedly, much to the annoyance of my other-half aka Big Boss. Yesterday was the first Sunday in months that we get to have a lie-in without having to rush elsewhere but I just couldn't sleep past 10am and couldn't watch another soul enjoying the sleep luxury either, hence the out-of-tune annoying singing. Ngeh ngeh.

Tuai padi antara masak
Esok jangan layu-layuan
Intailah kami antara nampak
Esok jangan rindu-rinduan

Anak cina pasang lukah
Lukah dipasang di Tanjung Jati
Di dalam hati tidak ku lupa
Sebagai rambut bersimpul mati

Batang selasih permainan budak
Daun sehelai dimakan kuda
Bercerai kasih bertalak tidak
Seribu tahun kembali juga

Burung merpati terbang seribu
Hinggap seekor di tengah laman
Hendak mati di hujung kuku
Hendak berkubur di tapak tangan

Kalau tuan mudik ke hulu
Carikan saya bunga kemboja
Kalau tuan mati dahulu
Nantikan saya di pintu syurga

This song was sang by Nordin Ahmad and Latifah Omar in the movie of the same title way back in 1966. Nordin Ahmad was one of my favourites when I was young just because he was sooooo handsome!

Anyway, this song was special to me because I had to sing it solo in front of a crowd during an exchange student program way back in 1992 (and I think my singing suck too back then!). I was sent to spend some weeks in Sri Aman and later Kuching with a bunch of friends from all over the country as part of the exchange program at the time and towards the end of it, we were asked to do an impromptu cultural performance at one of the events, to represent our states of origin. As you and I must know, Johor is famous for its kuda kepang and ghazal but where the heck can I find any of those in Sarawak?

A friend (bless him!) came to the rescue and suggested me to sing this song because he was sure that this song came from Sri Mersing the movie (also by Nordin Ahmad).. Mersing is in Johor so we thought the song was apt to represent the state culture (we were only 16 back then ok!). He even helped me to find the lyrics of the song (mana ada google in 1992 kan)and after some rushed practice, off I went singing it confidently on a stage! Only later on that night (after the show) that some adults actually pointed out to me that that song was not from Sri Mersing. Hahahahaha.. Oh, well...

As for the friend, he was from Melaka so he performed the portugese dance to the tune of Jinggling Nyonya. Not bad I must say.

Anyway, back to Merdeka now.. Just to make things clear, if ever those BENDERA morons from Indonesia come over to create chaos here and volunteers are needed to help the police and army to protect the country, I will no doubt be at the front lines. Although I am a 'british' in Big Boss' eyes (for my forever complains of Malays' and Malaysians' mentality at work, on the road etc), I am still 100% Malaysian at heart and make no mistake, will protect my country (my religion and race too for that matter) at all cost.

So BENDERA, you've been warned.

Selamat Hari Merdeka fellow citizens!

Sick

I have not been well for the past few days. I was and still am feeling sick, literally. Nausea, dizziness and every now and then, throwing up especially after trying to have some food in. I know the first thing that comes to your mind would be: Are you pregnant?

The answer is no. Well, not yet anyway. Yes the new cycle hasn't started and I've done the test a couple of times but the answer is still no. So far. So, let's move on to the next preferential diagnosis which is:

NONE. So far.

Emm.. I am screwed, am I? The doc said that maybe my hormones have gone haywire with all the changes in life recently. I have a feeling it probably have something to do with the epidural I had for my slipped disc 3 months ago but again, it was 3 months ago.

Whatever it is, I'm screwed. While I am here feeling sorry for myself, the to-do list is piling up. Just hope the weekend break I am looking forward to will materialise this weekend. I desperately need a break.

Love is..

When I was young, the 'love is' section in NST was one of my favourite columns in the (then) large spread. As a love-naive girl back then, the comic strip would put a smile on my face and warmed my heart whenever I had a peek at it. To the world then, I was this near-tomboy girl who wasnt into girlie stuff or boys, hence the 'peeking' when nobody else was around.

Tak macho la beb baca cheesy love-stuff ni, baca sport section or current issues baru la cool..

Anyway, thanks to Zasya, I have now found the much-loved comic strip again and you can get the collection from here. Yeay!

p/s And true love is real, I have finally found mine *wink*

We deserve to be there too (part I)

It's Friday today. Normally, Friday would be a good day because the weekend is less than 24 hours away. It should also be a better day because Liverpool FC has just braved through to the semi-final of Europa League after a stylish win over Benfica last night.

But, I am hopping mad and it is because of this frontpage article in The Star today:

Pulau Redang aims to lure the rich with room rates no less than RM1,600

I can still stomach it if they just come clean and say that they want to make the island exclusive because they want to squeeze as much money out of the precious jewel before it's gone forever. But to say that (quote) "only wealthy individuals would be able to afford holidays in Pulau Redang" as it is " the only way to save the surrounding rich marine life and prevent environmental destruction due to pollution and indiscriminate littering" is just not acceptable. Such hypocrisy.

It is also painfully funny to read this: "Efforts must be made to save the island from deteriorating environmentally. Those on budget excursions can visit other islands like Pulau Kapas and Pulau Perhentian that are equally charming"

Were those statements implying that budget travellers are the only culprits who have caused damages to the corals and that the rich and famous are the only ones who care for the marine life? And was the last statement also implying that it is actually ok to damage the corals of Kapas and Perhentian islands? Haih.

If you really care about the ecosystem and the precious marine life wahai pembesar-pembesar negeri, don't you think you should consider these steps instead?

* limit the number of visitors per day as how it is done in Sipadan
* even limit the number of resorts if necessary but make sure those available can cater for everyone including backpackers, not just those lucky ones who can afford RM1.6k/night rooms
* HELP to upgrade the sewage system on the island
* improve monitoring and ENFORCEMENT to ensure all chalets and hotels (including those for the rich and famous) have proper and working sewage system
* fully SUPPORT the marine conservational works already been carried out by many agencies including Reefcheck, WWF etc
* EDUCATE, EDUCATE AND EDUCATE our people (err, and probably the state policy-makers too)

I am very fond of Redang Island and have been there quite a number of times over the last 2 years. I particularly enjoyed diving at Holysand (when it was still there), Terumbu Mak Cantik and Terumbu Che Isa, awesome sites I must say. Redang was where I did my AOWD with sifu Macha hence the first place I did my deep and night dives. It was also where I dived with many good friends like Siew Lian, DiveChiefKaz, Ardy, Bakawali, Najibest, Safuan, Zalman and Avthar and also the place where I first met a few otai divers who later became my good friends like Miezegreat, Ikan and Rocket. So yeah, Redang is special to me and to many other divers too, I'm sure. But if this (quote) "only wealthy individuals would be able to afford holidays in Pulau Redang as hotel rooms will cost no less than US$500 (RM1,599) a night" plan ever materialise, I have no doubts I won't be able to step on the island again. RM1600 can easily give me a 3 or 4-day dive trip to Manado and if I just double the amount, it can take me to Komodo which is no doubt a wayyyyyy better diving destination compared to Redang. In short, this motion will just drive visitors away to the neighbouring countries in no time. Not so clever eh?

Anyway, for your information dear policy-makers, most divers travel cheap because we do CARE about our environment. By staying at cheap chalets, we use fans instead of air-conditioners (ada ke 5* hotels yang tak pakai air-cond?), the electricity supply at these cheap resorts are usually limited to only certain times of the day (as oppose to unlimited usage hence energy wastage in 5* hotels) and most of the times, we even bring our own towels hence avoiding unnecessary towels/ bathrobes daily change as in those fancy hotels. I can go on and on but cukup la... I think I have made my points here.

Kesimpulannya, please seriously reconsider ya. Saya dahului dengan ribuan terima kasih.

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The wonderful creatures of Redang underwater from last year's trip..

Dalam selimut putih (Part 1)

This is a post of random thoughts while I was warded for a week for a bad back.

30th March 2010, 10pm

The girl at the opposite bed wore a Man Utd jersey today and I have just overheard her conversation with the other lady next to her bed:

"Awak sokong Manchester ya?"

"A'ah. Beckham cun kak!"

Emmmmmm. I have nothing against MU or its fans. Besides, I know many REAL MU fans whom I truly respect for their footie/ club knowledge and loyaties such as my former school junior Idlan (she's such a big name in blogsphere now) and my batchmate Nor (who's now on a lone adventure around the globe en route to World Cup, I am green with envy) and many more. My definition of REAL fans are those who would stick by their teams either they win or lose, those who enjoy the game for the game and not just for the pretty faces in it (Hukaloh.. Beckham dah berzaman out of MU cik kak oi..). Real fans should be able to name atleast half of the team if not fully and should be able to describe the meaning of the offside rule. Most importantly, real fans possess true sporting spirit and handle winning or losing maturely and in moderation instead of with over-the-top cheers and jibes. Ok, a lil' glee whenever MU lost is of course still acceptable, no? ;)

Anyway, fake fans (particularly of MU for some reasons) more common than not, would go by all means to demean and ridicule the opponents when they win but surprisingly all silent when the clubs they supported were defeated. Those who just a week ago declared themselves hardcore fans because their teams were winning suddenly became indifferent and distanced just because their teams lost their games this week. Worse, some may jump-ship declaring their undying loyalties to another (winning) team. Have you guys not realised how we suddenly see so many Barca fans now? Check out the newsfeed on your FB if you don't believe me.

Oh well, hope I get to be transferred to another room soon. The gossips I am made to listen (they're talking very loudly ok) in here is making me want to puke. Honestly.

Goodbye Haloscan

I knew it. It was too good to be true.

When I saw the comment box last night, I thought it was a nice surprise. I thought my Haloscan comments were upgraded to the nicer version i.e. Echo for free. Boy I was wrong! Today, I found out that Echo is only provided for free for 2 weeks or so before I will be asked to pay $12/year for the service.

So tonight, I have decided to ditch Haloscan/ Echo before they ditch me when the free-trial ends and change to Blogger's free comments instead. I DO NOT get ditched ok? And as an act of protest, I've changed the blog's layout too!

I used Haloscan since the inception of this blog so it is actually sad to lose all those meaningful comments (from friends and strangers alike), especially from 2004-2007 period when I was a bit more active penning my thoughts in here.

Oh well... there's no such thing as free lunch I guess so.. goodbye Haloscan, thank you for the 7 beautiful spam-free years and here's to a new beginning!


The last ever comment posted on Haloscan/Echo was by Ummi. Emmmm.... I am gonna miss those cute emoticons!

Alam nyata

Why critical thinking and independent power of decision-making are very important...

High

This post was from Wednesday, fell asleep before I managed to post it up....ironically.

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It's almost midnight now and I am still wide awake.

I have been up since 2.30am this morning and have been working non-stop (except for toilet breaks, showers, quick meals and solat) till about 7.30pm. Today is one of my busiest day in my not-so-new role as an academician, from preparing and giving lectures to preparing exam questions, going through students' research proposals and attending meetings.

Now that I am back home, on my cosy bed, I still can't sleep. Maybe because the day's adrenaline rush hasn't wean off yet. Maybe because overdose effects of coffee and chocolates (which I consumed in large amount to keep me going earlier!) are still in full swing, hence this hyper-mode state.

Anyway, this is the culprit chocolate and I am so in love with it now. What's more impressive is the fact that it's Malaysian made!



Macamana la nak kurus nih??

Comic

And I have just started with so many years to go still!

Dalam kenangan

I am such a traditionalist when it comes to raya:

I still prefer raya cards compared to smses and e-cards. I would hang them all up in the office (since my dad's cards would occupy the hanging space in the house) till the last day of Syawal.

I loved the chaos when all the family members (sometimes even up to 50 of them!) gathered at my late granddad's house in JB on raya eve and raya morning.

I looked forward to cousins' teh tarik/ ais kacang late night sessions especially on raya eve (although sometimes the uncles would tagged along, uninvited) and we would tell ghost stories of the boarding school years again and again.

I didn't mind being the co-ordinator when it comes to the photo sessions, shouting and forcing all especially the photo-shy aunts and cousins to organise themselves in front of the cameras.

Sometimes, I would even co-ordinate the convoys to visit the homes of the elders and extended families.

Oh well, at least one practice still survive this year..



Selamat Hari Raya
Maaf zahir batin (it's not too late right?)

Duniawi thoughts

Liverpool 1 - Villa 3.

And an own goal.

Adusss.

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As a fan of The Reds, I have acquired some special traits over the years:

1. High level of patience
2. High level of optimism
3. A certain degree of denial

Especially towards the end of a season when we keep telling ourselves "Miracles do happen" (And they do happen ok!)

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The roads were really empty this morning especially in Cheras area.

Semua orang dah balik kampung untuk raya ke??

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Briyani kambing. Sedap.

Jom!

Satu kebaikan facebook

Sebagai reminder harijadi kawan-kawan dan sanak-saudara.

Oh, dan juga boleh tahu nama sebenar mereka terutamanya kalau sudah berkawan bertahun-tahun tapi tak pernah tanya nama sebenar sebelum ini!

Siapa kata Facebook adalah satu pembaziran masa eh!


p/s I have so many more serious stuff to blog about but need time to structure them out from this cluttered brain of mine. Soon.

He's just not into you

I bought the DVD quite a while ago but just couldn't find the spare time to watch it, until today. Having to cancel a couple of pre-arranged social engagements and hole up alone in my room with my sensitive tummy, I finally got the chance to put it on the play mode. The movie is packed with so many stars.. Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Connelly and many more so it was really a surprise that I found the storyline rather... weak. I would have gone for P.S I Love You anytime over this one. But, the final narration at the end of the movie got my attention:

Sometimes, when we're so focused on finding our own happy endings, we don't learn to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't. The ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. Or maybe a happy ending doesn't include a wonderful guy. Maybe it's you... On your own, picking up the pieces and starting over. Freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just ...moving on..

It is so true right? A few years ago, I too was stupid enough to think that my happiness is dependable on another soul of a different gender.... blame it on all the cheesy hollywood movies (or bollywoood for a certain people) I'd say. When the 'lived happily ever after' notion came crashing down on me one summer morning in 2002 and again in 2004, I nosedived freely to rock-bottom. People around me kept telling that I handled it well but truthfully, I didn't. I was broken into a thousand pieces. This pathetic entry was only a tiny preview of the broken me back then. Over the next year, I was pretty much lost in my own world (ok, may be I still do sometimes!) but at the same time I put myself on an automatic mode and just went crazy doing all sorts of things to keep myself occupied. I practically did and still doing all the things listed in this entry and more. Slowly but surely, my point of happiness shifted and I'm glad. There are so many better things to do, learn and experience than to wallow in loneliness and self-pity, right? The world is already jam-packed with real sufferings like war and poverty that we should just be grateful that we are still living peacefully together with comfortable shelters and more than enough food on the tables.

Ironically enough, I am now becoming an acting agony aunt to some friends with relationship woes. Sometimes I just feel like knocking some heads silly to make them see that life is just too precious to be wasted on some ungrateful men (or women). If he/she causes so much pain and heartbreaks, obviously he/she is not worth your love and tears right? So.. move on and have faith. Something better will surely come along sooner or better. Easier said than done I know (hey, I've been there remember?) but we're responsible for our own destiny so...just beat it!

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My mom just told me that a friend of my younger sister got admitted to a hospital for trying to kill herself over a relationship. Apparently, she has been having an affair with a married man for over a few years and she is suicidal now because the man has been giving 1001 excuses not to marry her. Sorry but I have no sympathy whatsoever for her. Blardy stupid girl I'd say. First of all, why the hell did you get involved with a married man and how selfish could you be for expecting him to leave his wife and kids for you?

Second of all, if you want to kill yourself, just find a knife and stab it directly onto your stomach or heart and it will soon be over. Taking 20-30 tablets of Paracetamol won't kill you... it will just kill your liver and you'll soon becoming a huge life-long burden for your poor parents. There are so many people fighting for their lives all over the world and you don't even value yours? And now with an automatic psychiatric record after your suicidal antics, don't you think your chance of getting the man to marry you just plummeted to nil? Sorry but I just can't tolerate stupid people like this.. Sheesh!

Hey Mr Moray

Two separate issues. One is settled, a firm decision is finally made. The other is still pending. It will be for a long long time still I think. Oh well, I can't have it all, can I?

My shoulders feel much lighter already.

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I am going for another date with Mr Moray-the Salang Jetty permanent resident, again this weekend... can't wait. Hope the underwater visibility will be as good as the last visit. Have a good weekend peeps!