Saturday, April 27, 2013

Perihal hijab

This is never meant  to be a houlier-than-thou post, just a small sharing to those who are in the contemplation stage to take the plunge. You know who you are.

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Come May, it will be 3 years since the first time I started wearing hijab. I know some people may say that wearing hijab shouldn't be made a big deal. After all, it is wajib for all muslim women. However, whether we like it or not, taking the big step to wear it IS a big deal to some of us who do not observe it since childhood, for some reasons or another.

Prior to May 2010, I have been wanting to wear hijab for the longest time but didn't have the guts to do it. Don't have to preach to me it's wajib, I know. Since long before, I personally believe that hijab is a constant reminder to me and those around me that I am a muslim, hence should uphold the name of the religion in EVERY single thing that I do, not just those directly related to religious duties such as praying and fasting. Hijab to me is more than a personal duty, it is a HUGE responsibility.

I can still clearly remember an incident when I was in my first year of university back in the mid 90s. A few friends and I got hold of some tickets to a big Halloween party at the then-happening Hippodrome, London, and of course we went. We weren't drinking or anything, just hanging out with new friends and enjoying the music and dance. Suddenly, amidst the loudness of music and chatters, a white guy approached a coursemate of mine who happened to wear a hijab, and told her politely that the club is not a place for a good muslim girl like her. Although she and the rest of us stayed on till the end, I realised from that night onward that when you wear a hijab, there are some sort of expectations from others, even from those liberal non-muslims. I learned that night that when you're donning a hijab, certain places like clubs become a big no-go, even if you're there just to enjoy the live bands or meet friends.

Alhamdulillah, when I came back from Umrah in May 2010, the urge to wear hijab came naturally and it felt just right. I know at that point of time, I have experienced and explored most worldly pleasures enough that I could leave those unnecessary ones behind.

Of course, the transformation wasn't without hiccups. Prior to the change, my comfy informal outfits for hanging out with friends, shopping or even going to movies would be three-quarter pants or the most, jeans, with just baby-tees. Dressing up to go out would only take me 5 minutes and packing for any trips would just take below 15 minutes. In contrast, when I first started wearing hijab, going out was a major headache and getting ready, more often than not, took me a longgggg time. Finding 'shariah-compliant' clothing from the wardrobe was one problem, to colour-match them with my limited collection of hijabs was definitely another! Even until now, packing for trips would take triple the time compared to before and I can hardly pack everything in just a backpack. Another problem (which is still bugging me till now) is the need to iron the tudungs, if not the clothes as well. I just hate ironing! Scuba diving and swimming are tricky too because it can be very tempting to just pull off the hijab when your hair is dripping wet after a dip. Luckily, due to priority changes, both activities which were very often before have now becoming very, very rare (sadly).

But there is a silver lining although with ups and downs. I can assure you that things do get easier as time goes by although I am still learning. One thing for sure, although wearing a hijab didn't change me from a sinner to an angel overnight, I do feel that I am in general a better person now. I curse less for a start, and I observe the law and basic human rules more too. I don't jump queues, I don't speed, I stop at red lights even when there are no other cars around and I definitely use my signal lights when I want to make a turn or change lanes. Have you heard people cursing 'pakai  je tudung tapi potong queue/ bawak kereta macam  %^%##$**$%!!'? Yeah, I used to be as judgemental as that too so after the hijab, I try as much as I can to break the unfair generalisation, to uphold the good name of the Islam, associated to hijab.

Like I said, I am still learning. And together we shall, insya' allah.

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